Book Recs: Masks, Post-Its, and Anonymity
Why I'm leaning into the faceless founder era (and 4 books to read while I do)
Lately, I’ve been leaning into the beauty of a ‘faceless’ persona. There is a certain magic in building something from behind a screen - focusing on putting a curated version of myself and the nook out there, based on my book recommendations and writing, all before you’ll ever see my face. It honestly doesn’t matter for what I’m doing here. Right?
This rabbit hole has me thinking so deeply about hidden identity tropes. And no, I don’t mean the ones where the billionaire pretends to be a commoner. (Though, I do love a good billionaire story where they have to actually work for a change lol). I mean the kind where the characters prove they can love someone for who they are rather than their status or beauty. It is truly the kind of anonymity that comes from hiding behind a screen or in some cases behind an agreement that involves never meeting and hundreds of Post-it notes.
Even last week’s Sunshine Diary jumped us right into a connection sparking online where two people have found parity without ever meeting. They set their rules of engagement based on anonymity, consistency, needs, and accountability.
Here are 4 book recommendations where hidden identity tropes reign and/or the rules of engagement get fuzzy:
#1 Anonymity in the Digital Age
My Favorite Half-Night Stand by Christina Lauren
I read this book while I was a passenger princess on a road trip with my family. I was supposed to be sleeping half the time, but I couldn’t put it down. It’s such a fun hidden identity trope mixed in with some good ol’ miscommunication for our resident friends-to-lovers.
When a tight knit group of friends decide to try online dating, our two main characters, Millie and Reid, decide to cool it irl. But surprise, surprise, Millie creates a fake profile and ends up matching with Reid’s real profile. Let the catfish begin! They start to confide in each other on a different level than they ever would in real life.
It perfectly mirrors the whole ‘getting to know someone behind a screen aspect’ I’ve been thinking about. It is often so much easier to be vulnerable when you aren’t worried about social norms and your real-world reputation. There is a safety behind that screen that makes it easier to be "brave" when you’re typing instead of talking. For me, this is the gold standard for "the safety of the screen." It’s about finding the courage to be your truest self when nobody can see your face.
#2 Consistency & The Art of the Sticky Note
The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary
This is the ultimate book about how consistent communication is key for a good relationship - digital or irl. I specifically bought this book because, on my quest for hidden identity tropes, this kept coming up as a way to have one in real life.
Tiffy and Leon aren’t behind a screen, but they are hiding in plain sight. They agree to share an apartment (and a bed) because they’re both in a financial bind. She’s recently left her abusive ex, and he’s dropping every bit of cash he has on his brother’s legal fees (love Ritchie!).
Their agreement comes with a few strict rules of engagement, the main one being that they never meet. They are never supposed to be in the apartment at the same time. However, what started as quick exchanges about baked goods and leftovers, soon turns into two lonely people bearing their souls on sticky notes. Morning and evening check-ins, daily affirmations, and chats about how to monetize knitted scarves (it matters I promise!) become their lifeline. Since their schedules don’t align for months, their consistency is the only way that the friendship flourishes.
These roommate-to-lovers find that they fall in love well before they ever know what the other looks like. Their kindness and understanding is all each of them ever needed to be feel safe and loved.
#3 Needs & The Dangers of a “One-Night” Mask
Ready or Not by Cara Bastone
The hidden identity here is revealed immediately to the reader in this book, but it becomes this looming ghost for Eve. This story is all about our needs and how we sometimes think a moment of anonymity can stay in the shadows forever, until it doesn’t.
Eve has a one-night stand with a bartender she meets during a rare and impulsive night out. She was never supposed to see him again…..until she finds out she’s pregnant. Through her pregnancy, her best friend’s brother, Shep, steps in to be absolutely everything she needs.
But everyone here is wearing a mask. Eve just wanted a night out in the shadows to escape her reality. Ethan just wanted to blow off some steam while on break FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND. Even Shep who steps in as a good samaritan, when in reality, he’s been waiting in the wings for an opening with Eve for years. It’s a story about the pure, supportive version of being needed vs. a dependency. It shows how even the best intentions can start to fall apart when we’ve been hiding our true selves the whole time.
#4 Accountability & Hiding from Ourselves
Atomic Habits by James Clear
This is my left field pick. It’s a book about follow-through and ownership, but it’s also about a different kind of hidden identity. Give me a chance to get you there…..
There is a massive irony in how much we hide from ourselves. We spend so much time wearing a mask of being ‘so busy’ or being ‘incapable’, telling ourselves that we can’t do something or don’t have enough time. We hide our potential behind fear and excuses.
Atomic Habits is about becoming your own best accountability buddy. This self-help giant shows us that despite our best efforts to keep our masks on, we can still become a better version of ourselves with just a little bit of consistent effort. This book took me by surprise when I read it with my family because it forced us all to take an analytical eye to the things we try to sweep under the rug. It’s about revealing the part of ourselves we should share with the world by building the habits that let them shine.